I should just be honest and tell you that I'm really not sure how many "installments" this story is going to take. I suppose it depends on how wordy I feel like being; most likely very.
December 2011
Through the past couple months, we had been living in great anticipation of more information - any information, really - about the possibility of adopting this little baby. Since the second week in November, the only information we had been given was that there might be a baby for us, the baby is due the end of March-beginning of April, and that it was a girl. As to be expected, that little bit of information left a lot to be desired, and we were anxious to hear more and progress closer to bringing this kiddo home.
The end of December came and our frustration at the lack of follow up information was growing. I remember telling Albert the week after Christmas that if we didn't hear anything in the next couple weeks that we were going to tell our bishop/attorney that we wanted to remove ourselves from the situation because it didn't seem to be going anywhere. I think that part of the problem and frustration was in that I really didn't know what to expect in a situation like this. What I was expecting was that we would be presented with the opportunity, we would have all the information we wanted readily available (ie - open communication with the birth mother), that we would be able to meet the birth mother and establish a trusting relationship with her, and that, basically, everything would go perfectly smooth and just how I wanted it to go. What I didn't know or expect was that I had little to no control of the situation. I didn't know that I was heading into one of the most anxiety-ridden, frustrating, emotionally stressful, and ultimately rewarding times of my life.
You know when the Lord tells us "Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation. For after much tribulation come the blessings... the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand" (Doctrine and Convenants 58: 3-4)? It can be really, really hard to remember His promises when you are stuck in the middle of your own personal "tribulation". It's not easy. At all.
Albert was brave enough to call Keith again (not sure how many times we called him for any follow up info) and he said he would call his client again and see if we could set up a meeting. He was finally able to get a hold of them and we got a time set up to meet at Keith's office on January 2, 2012. We got there about 15 minutes early and waited. And waited. They didn't show up. Like I said earlier, not much went the way I expected it to. Keith called them and they told him they couldn't make it, but they wanted to set up another time to meet the following week on January 10th. A week's worth of time felt like forever, by the way.
Finally, the 10th came and again, we showed up about 15 minutes early and waited. But this time they came and we were able to meet with Cooper's birth grandma, R. She was nice, but very protective. She told us that Cooper's birth mother, D, was in the car, but she didn't want her to come into the meeting. She wanted to check us out and make sure she liked us before she let her daughter meet us. We had a good talk with her for a little over an hour. She told us that D had 3 other children, 2 girls and a boy, and that they loved them all very much. R said that she was taking a large part in helping to raise all 3 plus another little girl from her other daughter and they felt like another young child might be more than they could have handled. She told us that D was due, not the end of March-early April, but that she was actually due the end of May and that it was a girl. However, she then said that D hadn't been to see the doctor yet for a prenatal check up.
R asked us a lot of questions about our backgrounds, our jobs, our life together, our families, and what our plans would be for this baby. We were honest and open with her. We gave her the short version of our struggles with infertility and why we were interested in adoption. We told her about my plans to cut back at work should we be blessed with a child, and that really seemed to put her more at ease and comfortable with us. I can remember, after we had been there for a while, she kept saying that she liked us and that she was sure D would, too. At the end of the meeting, we shook hands and R left.
We stuck around for a few minutes to talk with Keith. Overall, we felt like the time was well spent and that the meeting was positive. We walked out of the office feeling pretty confident that we were well on our way to becoming parents to a sweet little girl.
{...more to come...}
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Updating... Wait for it
I am updating this blog and bringing my posts over from my wordpress blog that I had started. I really didn't like wordpress. It's not user-friendly. So I've pulled my posts over from that blog and using this one again. And I'm going to get better at this. That's my goal. Wish me luck.
Cooper's Early Stats
For journaling sake, here are Coop's stats from birth 'til now...
- Born: Sunday, April 22, 2012 at 12:53 am
- Birth weight: 7 # 11 oz.
- Birth height: 19 inches
- Brought to his new home Wednesday, April 26, 2012
- Weight at 6 day check (4.28.12) 7 # 1 oz. (circumcision this same day)
- 2 week well baby check weight: 7 # 5 oz.
- 2 week well baby check height: 19 3/4 inches
- 2 month well baby check weight: 12 # 3 oz. (50th percentile)
- 2 month well baby check height: 22 1/2 inches (25th percentile)
- 2 month well baby check noggin: 41 cm (90th percentile - that's one big melon!)
- When we took him home, we were told to come back for a weight and bili check that Friday.
- He also needed another hearing screening done again. Though he had several of these while he was in the nursery, his right ear still had not passed. I took him back to the nursery Friday, Saturday and it wasn't until Sunday that his right ear was finally able to pass the screening.
- When we brought him home, we had almost nothing for him. We had a couple blankets that Grandma Gayle gave us several years ago that I had been storing, just waiting for them to be used, 3 plain white onsies and a case of baby wipes from Costco. Fortunately, the awesome OB staff at our hospital sent us home with formula, diapers and a really cute airplane blanket. Oh, and a car seat since we didn't have one of those either.
- By 10 pm the night we brought him home, we had so many friends and neighbors bring us clothes, diapers, blankets and all sorts of stuff, we didn't even need to run to the store to buy anything. We have such a great ward and neighborhood!
Cooper's Adoption Story: Installment One
*THIS POST IS FROM MY OTHER BLOG THAT I PULLED OVER BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO USE THAT BLOG ANYMORE.
I've been needing to write this whole thing down for a while, but have hesitated (or procrastinated maybe) to because #1 it's a long story and #2 I'm sure it's going to bring so many emotions, mostly good but some not so good, to the surface and I hate crying. But alas, it must be done; for us, for our families, for our friends, but mostly for our sweet little Cooper.
Some background on us...
Albert and I have been together almost 11 years, married almost 10 years (next month, in fact) and we have been trying to have a baby and start our family for 8 1/2 of those 10 years. Neither of us ever imagined what we were in for as we began the process. We have tried nearly everything to get pregnant (including lots of ovulation kits, timing, temperature recording, somewhere around 15 different rounds of Clomid, 5-ish times of combining Glucophage with other stuff, 3 rounds of artificial insemination with 2 different doctors, 2 failed In-Vitro attemps and so on) all to no avail. All to never once see a positive pregnancy test. In between all the fertility treatments, you can bet there was a lot of talk and debate about adoptiopn. One of the problems we had is that we would flip flop back and forth in our viewpoints - I would think adoption was the right way we needed to go, but Albert didn't; then Albert would feel it was right and I wasn't ready. Back and forth. Back and forth.
As you can imagine, this has brought immense frustration and heartache, not to mention emotional, mental, physical and spiritual trauma. I won't lie and say it was easy, but through it all, we have always counted ourselves very lucky in other ways. We are blessed on so many other levels that it is completely ungrateful for us to complain too much when there are so many others around us that struggle with trials more severe than ours. In many ways, this hardship in our life and in our marriage has been good - we are much stronger as a married couple, we are older (arguably wiser), we have learned and been able to rely on each other, we have both completed our educations, we have traveled all over the world and had a blast doing so, etc. The list could go on and on. A lot of things on that that list I don't know that we would have gained if we had been given what we wanted when we first started wanting it. Overall, we are closer and much better friends and companions than we might have been otherwise.
So, let's skip most of the details of those 8 years and fast forward to last Fall.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
I was at our ward building and myself and a bunch of other people were setting up and preparing the gym for our Young Women Evening in Excellence. It was around 6:15 or 6:30 and while I was busily trying to help get things organized and ready to go, my Bishop, Keith Eddington, pulled me aside for a minute and told me that he had something he wanted to talk with me about privately when I had a minute. I told him that was fine, but it might be better to talk after the program was over. I was on the program to give a talk and I was trying to get everything set up so that we could start on time, so I went about my business. After a few minutes I noticed the Bishop looking fidgety so I knew whatever he had to say was important. So I stopped what I was doing and we went into his office for a chat.
He sat me down and asked how I was doing. I said I was okay, but a little nervous for my talk. He then told me that one of his clients (Keith is a lawyer) came to him earlier that day and said that her daughter was pregnant and that they wanted to place the baby for adoption. She asked him to think about it and find someone he knew that would be willing to take the baby. He said he knew we had previously been interested in adopting and he wanted to know if we would be interested in pursuing this possibility.
I have to be honest in saying that as soon as he said the word "adoption" I started crying. I was so overwhelmed and choked up that I could hardly talk. Also if I'm being honest, I had felt for a long time that if we were to ever really be able to adopt a baby, it would have to be something that would, more or less, just happen seeing as how we had been unable to agree that it was the right thing for us. I told the Bishop about these feelings and he said that maybe this was the answer we had been looking for for so long. I told him I was definitely interested, but that I would have to talk to Albert about it and see what he said. I asked what the due date was and he said they told him the end of March-beginning of April. They did not know the sex of the baby.
It goes without saying, but I was an emotional mess the rest of the night; through my talk especially. When I got home I found Albert and told him about my conversation with the Bishop and, for the first time in our marriage, we agreed about adoption. Go figure. I think was because we both felt so strongly that this was what we needed to be doing, there wasn't much room for doubt or argument. We contacted the Bishop the next day and told him we were very interested and to please give us more information as soon as possible. We also asked him to ask the birth family if they would be interested in setting up a meeting.
A week or two later, we were told it was a girl! We were thrilled and immediately started talking about baby girl names and making plans. We didn't tell hardly anyone what was going on. Only a handful of people knew; one of which included my nosy sister. :) After that little bit of information, we didn't hear anything for almost 2 months.
I've been needing to write this whole thing down for a while, but have hesitated (or procrastinated maybe) to because #1 it's a long story and #2 I'm sure it's going to bring so many emotions, mostly good but some not so good, to the surface and I hate crying. But alas, it must be done; for us, for our families, for our friends, but mostly for our sweet little Cooper.
Some background on us...
Albert and I have been together almost 11 years, married almost 10 years (next month, in fact) and we have been trying to have a baby and start our family for 8 1/2 of those 10 years. Neither of us ever imagined what we were in for as we began the process. We have tried nearly everything to get pregnant (including lots of ovulation kits, timing, temperature recording, somewhere around 15 different rounds of Clomid, 5-ish times of combining Glucophage with other stuff, 3 rounds of artificial insemination with 2 different doctors, 2 failed In-Vitro attemps and so on) all to no avail. All to never once see a positive pregnancy test. In between all the fertility treatments, you can bet there was a lot of talk and debate about adoptiopn. One of the problems we had is that we would flip flop back and forth in our viewpoints - I would think adoption was the right way we needed to go, but Albert didn't; then Albert would feel it was right and I wasn't ready. Back and forth. Back and forth.
As you can imagine, this has brought immense frustration and heartache, not to mention emotional, mental, physical and spiritual trauma. I won't lie and say it was easy, but through it all, we have always counted ourselves very lucky in other ways. We are blessed on so many other levels that it is completely ungrateful for us to complain too much when there are so many others around us that struggle with trials more severe than ours. In many ways, this hardship in our life and in our marriage has been good - we are much stronger as a married couple, we are older (arguably wiser), we have learned and been able to rely on each other, we have both completed our educations, we have traveled all over the world and had a blast doing so, etc. The list could go on and on. A lot of things on that that list I don't know that we would have gained if we had been given what we wanted when we first started wanting it. Overall, we are closer and much better friends and companions than we might have been otherwise.
So, let's skip most of the details of those 8 years and fast forward to last Fall.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
I was at our ward building and myself and a bunch of other people were setting up and preparing the gym for our Young Women Evening in Excellence. It was around 6:15 or 6:30 and while I was busily trying to help get things organized and ready to go, my Bishop, Keith Eddington, pulled me aside for a minute and told me that he had something he wanted to talk with me about privately when I had a minute. I told him that was fine, but it might be better to talk after the program was over. I was on the program to give a talk and I was trying to get everything set up so that we could start on time, so I went about my business. After a few minutes I noticed the Bishop looking fidgety so I knew whatever he had to say was important. So I stopped what I was doing and we went into his office for a chat.
He sat me down and asked how I was doing. I said I was okay, but a little nervous for my talk. He then told me that one of his clients (Keith is a lawyer) came to him earlier that day and said that her daughter was pregnant and that they wanted to place the baby for adoption. She asked him to think about it and find someone he knew that would be willing to take the baby. He said he knew we had previously been interested in adopting and he wanted to know if we would be interested in pursuing this possibility.
I have to be honest in saying that as soon as he said the word "adoption" I started crying. I was so overwhelmed and choked up that I could hardly talk. Also if I'm being honest, I had felt for a long time that if we were to ever really be able to adopt a baby, it would have to be something that would, more or less, just happen seeing as how we had been unable to agree that it was the right thing for us. I told the Bishop about these feelings and he said that maybe this was the answer we had been looking for for so long. I told him I was definitely interested, but that I would have to talk to Albert about it and see what he said. I asked what the due date was and he said they told him the end of March-beginning of April. They did not know the sex of the baby.
It goes without saying, but I was an emotional mess the rest of the night; through my talk especially. When I got home I found Albert and told him about my conversation with the Bishop and, for the first time in our marriage, we agreed about adoption. Go figure. I think was because we both felt so strongly that this was what we needed to be doing, there wasn't much room for doubt or argument. We contacted the Bishop the next day and told him we were very interested and to please give us more information as soon as possible. We also asked him to ask the birth family if they would be interested in setting up a meeting.
A week or two later, we were told it was a girl! We were thrilled and immediately started talking about baby girl names and making plans. We didn't tell hardly anyone what was going on. Only a handful of people knew; one of which included my nosy sister. :) After that little bit of information, we didn't hear anything for almost 2 months.
{ more to come }
Just had to share this picture from today of a Daddy snuggling his boy for a Sunday nap. They absolutely LOVE each other!
A New Adventure
*THIS POST IS FROM MY OTHER BLOG THAT I PULLED OVER BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO USE THAT ONE ANYMORE.
Here's to new chapters in life!
I love this picture! I love how Cooper is all wadded up in a newborn ball of sweetness.
These boys love each other so much! Cooper is always to happy to see his Daddy when he comes home from work. They love to play together. Albert is always saying that he can't wait to take Cooper fishing and mountain biking and whatnot. They are best buddies!
Mama loves her precious little angel baby. :)
I love this old scale, although I don't think it was quite accurate. He has his 2 week check up the day after these pictures were taken and the scale at the Dr.'s office said he was 7 # 5 oz. and this one said around 8 #. Split the difference maybe?
Our super fantastic friend and photographer, Aleesha Rhoades from Country Rhoades Photography (https://www.facebook.com/CountryRhoadesPhotography or http://countryrhoadesphotography.com/) gave me this amazing picture blown up on a huge foam board for Cooper's baby shower. I love his little smile! What a perfect moment captured in a photo. I'll post a picture of the wall where I hung it soon.
I love this picture because you can see his furry little shoulders and back. Little monkey!
Squish-face.
He's showing off his adorable little feet.
Our happy little family. :D
{More to come soon }
Sunday, July 15, 2012
New Blog
No one will likely see this post, but in case there is anyone that has this old blog on their Reader, I have started a new blog for our new little family. You can see it at...
www.albertandalisha.wordpress.com
www.albertandalisha.wordpress.com
Monday, January 31, 2011
Neglect
Dear blog,
You have been ignored for so long.
Do I make another effort to keep you updated?
Or do I put you out of your misery?
Indecisively,
Alisha
You have been ignored for so long.
Do I make another effort to keep you updated?
Or do I put you out of your misery?
Indecisively,
Alisha
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Other Things We've Been Up To
Mikkele and I got to go to the Desert Start Playhouse last weekend with my awesome Mother and Father-in-law.We got to see "Welcome Back Potter: Harry and Hermione's 10 year Reunion". It was, as always, super fun and made us laugh a lot!
Mikkele got to meet a bunch of the actors after the play was over and even got their autographs.
This lady was tagged as the "Most Pregnet" by Mikkele! She really is expecting and they were able to write her pregnancy into the play.
This lady was tagged as Mikkele's "Favorite" and I think that this dude was tagged as "Craziest".
The playhouse has lots of fun little things out in the lobby area to keep kids busy.
Like an outhouse, for instance.
Here's Kell just before the play started.
Some more of the actors afterward.
We had to try the outhouse.
Mikkele took a while.
Look how cute we are!
I got to go to the Hogle Zoo with some of my former Young Women, Cali and Kaitlyn. This little trip has been in the works for a long time. Kaitlyn and I were talking a few years ago about how we're lame because we had never been to the zoo. So, we decided earlier this year that we were going to go and we stuck to it!
Cali trying to be like the turkey and Kaitlyn wondering why I keep taking pictures of them.
Gotta have a pic with the drinking fountain!
I just wanted to bite his nose off.
And then Albert and I took a last minute trip to California with Jeff and Jenna, Julie and Kirk and their cute kids. We went to South Carlsbad Beach and had a blast!
Here's Brin, Brooke and Carson chillin in the sand.
Even though we went in July and we were in Cali, it was a pretty cold weekend. So we found Albert a new super suit that was on sale.
Even though we went in July and we were in Cali, it was a pretty cold weekend. So we found Albert a new super suit that was on sale.
He is one HOT specimen!
Jenna got stung by a stingray.
Brin, Cannon and Brooke.
Albert and Kirk body boarding.
Sweet little Chloe. I bet she had sand in her pants for days!
Jenna got stung by a stingray.
No, for real!
And what a trooper she was. I would have been in tears and she didn't even let one squeeze out.
I want to be Jenna when I grow up.
Brin, Cannon and Brooke.
Albert and Kirk body boarding.
Sweet little Chloe. I bet she had sand in her pants for days!
We built some sand castles.
Got to relax a lot.
We were able to camp just up from the beach. We were pretty excited about this campground because we were really close to the bathrooms. Score!
Again...
Jenna and I drove Albert and Jeff nuts on the drive down blowing up these bubble things!
Got to relax a lot.
We were able to camp just up from the beach. We were pretty excited about this campground because we were really close to the bathrooms. Score!
Again...
This man is HOT!!!
Oh, how cute!
Jenna and I drove Albert and Jeff nuts on the drive down blowing up these bubble things!
We may or may not have gotten a little high from the fumes.
Over Memorial Day, we went to Moab with Jeff and Jenna. We went 4-wheeling, mountain biking (I biffed it pretty good once and Jeff biffed it twice. That's why I don't mountain bike.), golfing, hiking, took some cool drives and ate some really good food!
Over Memorial Day, we went to Moab with Jeff and Jenna. We went 4-wheeling, mountain biking (I biffed it pretty good once and Jeff biffed it twice. That's why I don't mountain bike.), golfing, hiking, took some cool drives and ate some really good food!
We hiked to Landscape Arch in Arches National Park.
And we hiked to Delicate Arch.
And we caught lizzards with dental floss.
And we drove out to a spot where there is petrified wood.
One of the lizzards Albert kept as a pet for a while.
And we hiked to Delicate Arch.
And we caught lizzards with dental floss.
No, for real.
I had no idea you could do that, but leave it to Albert to know all the best ways to catch lizzards.
And we drove out to a spot where there is petrified wood.
One of the lizzards Albert kept as a pet for a while.
Albert and I 4-wheeled out to Pritchett Arch.
And I think this one is called Picture Frame Arch. I forgot to put sunscreen on this day and fried my arms pretty good. You would think after so many years of bad sunburns I would learn, but that's not such the case.
Albert on his 4-wheeler. What a babe!
And let's not forget Girl's Camp!
And I think this one is called Picture Frame Arch. I forgot to put sunscreen on this day and fried my arms pretty good. You would think after so many years of bad sunburns I would learn, but that's not such the case.
Albert on his 4-wheeler. What a babe!
And let's not forget Girl's Camp!
Yes, I got to go to camp again this year with my new ward. We had so much fun! Our new ward is awesome and we really like it, but it is very different from our last one. We were in 3rd ward for 7 1/2 years and this has been a big adjustment, but we are loving 11th ward!
We had a limbo competition and I did pretty good, but I am definitely not as flexible as I used to be.
The girls did a funny little dance thing and they felt the need to give me war so I could look like them.
I like your beard.
This was my group for the challenge course.
L to R
Katie, Sara, Mikalyn, Natalie, Rachel (on the ground), Brinley, Mikayla, Alyssa (standing), Valani, Kym, and Kaylee.
The other group.
L to R
Karlee, Hillary, Kaylie, anna, Makell, Mallory, Kaeli, Brooklyn, Emily, Misty, Darci, and Kamilla.
Here we are on our super fun hike around the Heber Valley Camp just before we got to the lake.
All in all, camp was lots of fun this year and great so that I could get to know a lot of people in my new ward. What awesome leaders and girls!!! I'm sure I'll be back next year.
Just for the record: This camp marked my 6th straight year at Girl's Camp as a leader and 14th year overall (I went 8 times as a teenager)! And I'm sure there's many more great years to come. I know camping with a whole mess of teenage girls doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun to most people, but I love it! Drama? Tears? Crazy hair and make up? Making a total fool of myself for their entertainment? Lots of work?
Bring it on.
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