Before I begin this post, let me just let you all into a little portion of my life right now called infertility. Yes, I am getting personal here. Most of you probably know that Albert and I are, for some unexplained reason, unable to have children. We have been "trying" to start our family for almost 4 years now and month after month are unsuccessful. We have tried almost everything that is mostly non-invasive are now looking at in-vitro fertilization (yes, for real). We are not out of options, and are not completely hopeless, but it is definately a daily and monthly stuggle. So, that being said, here is what I really would like to say.....
I just got off the phone with a friend of mine and was informed of a very serious situation that is going on with one of my Young Women. Apparently, she has gotten into some trouble with the very useful, very addicting, sometimes dangerous, internet. I don't know all the details and so I am not going to give details, but it is not good. Parents need to HEAVILY monitor what their children are doing on the internet. There are freaks, preaditors, and just overall, creepy people out there that are just waiting for innocent, naive kids to cross their paths.
Okay, now with that being said, I'll tie everything together..... Have you ever heard that song from the Forgotten Carols about the woman who can't have children of her own but knows that there are other ways that she can be a mother? She says "Those like me who can't have children, still can be mothers." and "Something in His eyes convinced me, I could serve so many others". Sometimes I feel like this woman in the song - I can't have children, but I can be a mother in other ways, I can serve others. That's why He made me Young Women's President. The Lord wanted me to be a "mother" to 17 teenage girls that drive up the stinkin' wall with worry. Cruel. Another thought - Maybe this type of situation is why the Lord hasn't let me have my own kids yet, because I can hardly stand to watch someone else's kid go through a horrible situations like this, let alone my own child. Not saying that this exact thing would happen to my kid, but anything is possible, I guess. I have just been sick about it since I talked to my friend a while ago. I think that if the Lord would bless me with a baby, I would probably be hospitalized immediately for bleeding ulcers because I would be worrying so much about all the "what-ifs". Freak. I guess I need to work on that or we'll never have kids. I need to learn how not to stress so much. It's funny because I don't really think that I am over-stressed, but I just proved myself wrong. This blog is a tricky little tool. It brings out little quirks in myself that I don't recognize. Okay, I'll stop talking now. Thank you for reading.
6 comments:
oh wow... i just think those teenage years in general are so scary! yeah i worry about my kids now, but i at least feel that i'm mostly in control of their choices still. even though yw pres is such a challenging calling, it will make you a better mother when it does happen.
Being in the YW presidency truly does that to us! We worry so much! It will make you a better mom though, and it speaks a lot about your character that you care so much. That is a good thing and those girls are so lucky to have you there!
Oh Lish! You're going to make the most fantastic mother someday. And yes, all the "what-ifs" can totally drive you up the wall, so I really try not to think about it too hard or often. :)
i just don't worry about anything. problem solved! lol! in general, i am not a worrier....that is my hubby's job. he over-worries. so there is balance in life. :)
Alisha, I love you. You are so loving. Always have been. Those Young Women are lucky to have you and you are going to be an absolutely spectacular mother.
I'm sorry you guys are struggling. My sister has been battling infertility since 2003. She was able to conceive one child through invetro. I guess I want you to know that you're not alone, but you probably already knew that.
Somedays I hear stories about something horrible happening to a child and it makes my heart ache. I struggle and often ask Heavenly Father why He gave that child to those careless, reckless people rather than giving them to someone that I know would love and do anything to keep them safe. But I'll never know the answer. I just have to find comfort in knowing there's a bigger picture out there that I just can't grasp yet.
Love you, lady.
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